As I manage to control and limit my Sex and the City binge obsession, I'm starting to wonder about the bond that Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda have and cease to break—it seems as though no matter what guy has come into their lives, what type of financial or job situation they're in, or how much sex they have for that matter, friendship ceases to dissolve and only grows stronger as the show goes on and much is experienced. Of course, no one's life is as crazy as Carrie's, structured as Charlotte's, demanding as Miranda's, or as "open" as Samantha's, but despite these differences, they all seem to rely and depend on one another like any girl gang would.
For that, I have been inspired to thank those who have touched my life and have stuck with me. Ever since I was little, making friends didn't come easily to me, but I was already okay with some of the closest friends I had. It was much simpler, friend-making, and I think that was mainly because no one gave a crap about who you were or what you looked like.
I was fortunate enough when I moved into my house 15 years ago and lived next door to two of my best friends, Ellie and Alyssa. We had the luxury of being able to live right next to each other, so that meant long days and nights never leaving each other's sides until one of our moms told us it was time to go—then we'd just show up for breakfast the next day. It was memories of running to and from each other's houses, endless games of ghost and the graveyard, summer bonfires, producing plays, sleepovers, vacations, and having that close neighbor bond that not many people get or experience. We're all in college, so there's only so much time left until we all part ways and continue on our lives. Yet our friendship remains and only grows stronger as we all go through new experiences and hit more obstacles along the way.
What I've realized is that it's okay to have friends for one time in your life and move onto different friends in new chapters. To be honest, I don't really talk to anyone I was close with in high school. Not that anything really happened, but you grow apart from people. The few people that I am still closest to, including Ellie and Alyssa, are those that live the farthest away from me. In fact, I think I am closer to them than ever even though we lived 20 feet away from each other growing up.
Friendship requires effort, trust, distance, closeness, consideration, acceptance, and many other things. I've learned throughout many relationships with people that the easiest way to hold onto someone is by support and release. I've tried latching onto people, changing my perceptions, following the crowd, and have only noticed that friendships suffer. I've lost friends because of this; not because I wanted to change them, but I forced friendships. I thought everyone was gonna stick by my side and the next thing you know, they get bored of you and move on.
Now that I'm grown up and am able to deconstruct this mindset, I've come to terms with the type of friend that I want to be and let that decide who stays and who doesn't. I know that I can rely on my close friends, I can confide in them with anything, trust that they will understand where I'm coming from, put me in my place when I'm thinking out of control, reassure me that everything is going to be okay, laugh at all my lame ass puns, send me memes on Instagram at 3 in the morning, talk to me on the phone for hours, and accept me at my best and my worst.
The thing is, making new friends as an adult does not come easily, especially in college when it feels like elementary school again. I'm fairly social, yeah, but I'm also not the type of person to just walk up and become best friends with someone I've just met. Surprisingly, that happens, but it takes longer for me to trust people and that's something I have come to deal with throughout my childhood and teenage years.
Everything I have dealt with has always been bearable when I knew I had my people. My people know who they are and those that have just entered my life are in for a journey. Friendship is gushy and mushy, filled with laughter and love, and is something I would never want to give up for anything.
I love you all.
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